Tie Me to The Bar : A Goan Wedding:
Escaping weddings had been a forte
all my life. There’s something revolting about them….All the toothless women
seem to recognise you instantly, claiming to have seen you naked!! They also claim
to have access to all the single women in town, endorsing a “happy ending”.
My beloved match making aunties…
Thursday, 20 November 2014
A Goan Wedding
What do you do when an adorable
friend decides to bite the dust and say ‘I do’ (in Punjabi of course...) and
tells you to be there!
Weddings usually are a scary affair
for me. But this was one wedding I could never say No to, especially
when the back drop said- Goa!!
For all the intricate knowledge I had
from Bollywood flicks, Goa somehow seemed to be a place where the Russians took asylum from their traumatic lives, a place where lobster grew on trees and where kids were raised on home
grown weed, plucked from their back yards….
Escaping weddings had been a forte
all my life. There’s something revolting about them…. Toothless women from the aging association of 'life after death' seem to recognize you instantly, claiming to have seen you naked!! They also claim
to have access to all the single women in town, endorsing a “happy ending”. The beloved match making aunties…
Try refuting their declaration and
they instantaneously grab your face choking you with kisses flavoured with the
last snack they pounded upon.
Which is why going to a friend’s wedding is so
much safer, especially when it’s an effort towards national integration. A
Rajput girl marrying a completely bald, half Goan-half Punjabi-half Bengali guy,
settled in Bangalore.
The guest list was equally unpretentious. Corporate lawyers turned photographers, over grown air hostesses who
claimed they were only half their current size just a few weeks ago, an
innocent Chinese who confused spider webs drawn on her hand for Mehendi. To her defense, someone had spiked her Fanta.
Amidst all this, you barely stayed
sober, spent unending after hours at the beach and for some strange reason carried
women’s clutch all evening…
And just when you think you could
dance the night away with those multiple clutches in your hand…. You somehow
got swept off your feet and twirled in the air by a Psycho Punjabi Moron
straight from DDLJ…Thankfully, it was the only romantic moment I had!!!
Next morning, just when you are
recovering from this trauma that almost killed your willingness to live, you realize it’s show time!!
You forget about everything else and
get ready to enjoy every ritual in the company of friends, celebrating every
moment. May be that’s what makes a
friend’s wedding different. You are there for someone whom you really know…….
When you return home and start
extracting sand off your cell phone and from every single piece of wardrobe,
you smile and wish it never ended!
Travels like these remind me of the
song..…
Nothing comes from nothing, so must have done something good
in child hood…..
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